A Time for Celebration

A Time for Celebration
On Monday my brother will graduate from Oakland University. While I can’t physical be there…I am definitely there in spirit, proud that he’s graduating after having such a profound and significant college experience…full of college classes, microwavable popcorn, packaged oreos, lawsuits and victories, tons of smiles, exams and presentations, and whole lot of community building and community re-imagining.

As I travel and learn about education in another country, I carry Micah’s story with me because I know that inclusion is not just a “U.S.” thing or something that only “certain kids with certain issues” should be exposed to…inclusion is about rethinking success, rethinking testing, rethinking what schooling is all about…and this is something that should be (and in some place is) happening all around the world.

(Below is a blog I wrote for an organization, Special Quest, that advocates for inclusive practices in early-childhood settings. They are doing a series on Micah’s journey and the people who were impacted by this…check it out at: http://specialquest.org/inclusion/category/micahs-story/)

Growing up with my older brother, Micah, was not always easy—I mean how many siblings actually get along with their brother or sister all the time! We sure didn’t. Sometimes I wished he wasn’t my brother. And other times, we had a blast together—playing basketball, debating politics, watching funny movies. Having a brother with the label—intellectual disability—meant that our relationship was also different. At times I was embarrassed that my brother didn’t seem like my other friends’ siblings. Other times, I was worried about what his future would look like and I felt that other siblings didn’t have to worry about these types of issues.



However, Micah’s drive for an inclusive education meant that I grew to love and value Micah for Micah, for who he is. Inclusion became fundamentally important for the me as well as Micah. Inclusion meant that a community was being created around Micah. When I was in first grade, I saw Micah at recess with his peers—laughing and playing. Throughout my middle school experience, I saw Micah involved in peer groups. That meant that on some weekends, he’d leave home for overnight excursions with his friends. In high school, my older brother encouraged me to go to school dances and ultimately, the prom. He knew how important prom was for his high school experience and he wanted me to have that same “good time”. When I went off to college, I told my new college peers that my brother went to college too. I didn’t always have to explain the advocacy side of him; he could also just be my older brother who was studying at the university. Inclusion normalized his disability. The tangible results of inclusion meant that I could see others value Micah, I could see Micah participating in everyday activities, and in turn I could value Micah.

Now a junior at Mount Holyoke College, I am studying the intersection of disability and education issues. When I graduate I will have my teaching certificate in Early-Childhood Education. It is important that I teach in an inclusive classroom—so that the siblings in my classroom will see other individuals with disabilities participating, engaging with their peers, and ultimately being respected. My hope is that, they too, will be able to learn to appreciate their brother or sister with disabilities.

Most recently I helped Micah move into his dorm room. This was a powerful moment for me.


May all siblings of a brother or sister with a disability be able to help their sibling move out of their home into a home that they choose. May they be able to feel mixed emotions of over-protectiveness and excitement. May they be able to talk to each other in a new way because now they both live away from home. May the sibling (without disabilities) who has felt embarrassed, pushed to the side, heard too many phone calls about a meeting for their sibling, ever felt alone, ever felt uncertain about the role they may play in their brother or sister’s future, ever felt frustrated at the way the rest of the world looks at their brother or sister—may they too experience something so great as I did when I helped my so-called “atypical” “retarded” “can’t do anything” “will never speak” “just put him in an institution” … yes, my creative, courageous, witty, powerful, brilliant, intelligent, loving, conscientious, funny, older brother move into a dorm, so he, too, can be once again be just my brother.

here is a article that my sister wrote about helping me move in

In late August of 2007, my older brother, Micah helped me move into my dorm room at Mount Holyoke College. Fortunately I was able to return the favor to him. On January 4, 2010 I helped Micah move into his dorm room at Oakland University after a two-year legal battle with Oakland University’s administration. Here is what I wrote the night I came home from this historic move-in.
I’m not sure how to feel right now. My eyes continue to swell up with tears and all I want to do is cry out loud. I wonder if this is how the older sibling feels when she finally watches her younger brother go off to college—it is certainly how I feel right now. I have this protective feeling consuming my body—I keep flashing to this image of Micah sitting scared in his room, not knowing what to do to in this unfamiliar place, just lying there hoping the next few months will go by quickly.
As I lie in my bed at home, I turn to the wall that separates my room from Micah’s room. It’s the wall I used to knock on every night before I went to sleep and yell out, “Goodnight Micah! I love you.” And he’d yell back, “Goodnight Emma! I love you.” Sometimes he’d knock first. Right now, I want to knock on the wall right now and hear his voice…to comfort me. I want to hear him say, “Goodnight Emma.”
I’m sure he’s fine. If he’s not…he knows how to ask for help. It’s probably one of his greatest strengths. I wish we all could ask for help and not be afraid. He is not caught up in thinking that he should know it all. He just asks for what he needs…then someone typically helps him…and then his community, his circle, his support becomes even larger.
I’m proud of him. Today, I loved hearing all of his friends and peers say, “Hey Micah! Welcome to the dorm.” It’s such a reassuring feeling for me, as a sibling—to see others respect Micah in the way I always imagine “typical” respect looks like.
I’m feeling all sorts of things. I’m proud and worried, happy and unsettled, emotional and confused, wondering constantly and smiling often. I picture him getting up tomorrow—excited he could sleep in until 9 a.m. instead of waking up at 6 to take a two long bus rides to get to campus. I can see him doing his morning routine more carefully because now, now he’s in a dorm room—the dorm room he spent 2 years fighting to live in. I think he’ll brush his teeth extra long tomorrow (assuming he can find his toothpaste). I know he won’t stop smiling. Maybe he’ll make his bed and then decide what to wear. He might call our mom—tell her what he did in morning and how he slept. He’ll like taking to mom and I know she’ll smile when she hears his satisfied voice.
May all siblings of a brother or sister with a disability be able to help their sibling move out of their home into a home that they choose. May they be able to feel mixed emotions of over-protectiveness and excitement. May they be able to talk to each other in a new way because now they both live away from home. May the sibling (without disabilities) who has felt embarrassed, pushed to the side, heard too many phone calls about a meeting for their sibling, ever felt alone, ever felt uncertain about the role they may play in their brother or sister’s future, ever felt frustrated at the way the rest of the world looks at their brother or sister—may they too experience something so great as I did when I helped my so-called “atypical” “retarded” “can’t do anything” “will never speak” “just put him in an institution” … yes, my creative, courageous, witty, powerful, brilliant, intelligent, loving, conscientious, funny, older brother move into a dorm, so he, too, can be once again be just my brother.

this is my weekly update

I'm looking forward this week to be speaking at Wayne State on Tuesday
speaking in a class on Wednesday through
a friend asked me to come and speak from my computer he's teaching a class in Colorado Skype
Friday I am going out to dinner with some of my friends
next Sunday and celebrating Easter with my family
voting the student body president and vice president of the next year school year
Oakland University don't forget to vote for the student body president and vice president this week coming

I have loved being a student at Oakland University

I have loved being a student at Oakland University and going to enjoy every second of every day before I have to leave an April 27 the Oakland University I don't want to leave yet it has been a great campus great faculty great administration great friends and great people and greed student leaders in the student Congress

I have loved being a student at Oakland University

I have loved being a student at Oakland University and going to enjoy every second of every day before I have to leave an April 27 the Oakland University I don't want to leave yet it has been a great campus great faculty great administration great friends and great people and greed student leaders in the student Congress

And so happy that my Oakland University basketball

And so happy that my Oakland University basketball team won on SaturdayI'm looking forward to the next basketball game on Monday

Through the Same Door

Check out this series of blogs on my journey for inclusive education. A new blog entry will come out each week on this site:
Through the Same Door

Peak Conference and had a great time at the conference

I am having a great time at school I still miss all my friends from Colorado to I am hoping to go there this summer
Peak Conference and had a great time at the conference
I met some amazing people
from the conference
I'm hoping to go to the conference next year
Peak is a great organization to help people
this is a great organization
it helps parents know that there are things out there to help the kids that have disabilitie
that's why it's a great organization
Micah

This is my schedule for my spring break

This is my schedule for my spring break
I'm coming home this afternoon
doing laundry
taking naps
relaxing
seeing friends
going to the doctor
doing some homework
I have some conference calls
and I'm going to check my e-mail over brea

I get to watch the president give his speech to the nation

I get to watch the president give his speech to the nation and to the country tonight from my room and campus
I been having an amazing week this week
Friday I don't have class and going to see a movie with a friend
and go to the gym

I am so happy that I can watch cable TV in my room

I am so happy that I can watch cable TV in my room I am so happy that I can sleep in every day don't have to week up at 6:30 a.m. and take a bus to school every dayso happy I am living on campusI went to a party at school tonight for the Chinese new year so happy that next week is home coming for Oakland University in February 4 to February 7

wouldn't change this for the world

I am trying to have the best time at Oakland University of every dayand every second until I graduate in MayI'm having the best time of my life at Oakland University has been thebest five years of this time of this semesterbecause I am living on the campusI wouldn't change this for the world I hope that other people can live in the dorms like me next fall

My first couple weeks of living in the dorm

My first couple weeks of living in the dorm
I can do more living in housing on campus
I can go to the gym, I can take a cycling class every Friday
I am having an exciting time of living on campus
I don't have to wake up early and take a bus to school
I can watch cable TV
I can help more people out at the activities
I like all my classes I have been taking at school this semester
I hope the other students that after I graduate can have the same opportunities and live in the dorm like I did
I have new friends I have from this semester
if anyone wants to ever come up and visit me I would be happy to show you around
I found someone to help me with my senior project for my last project of Oakland University
just let me know
Micah

hi friends

hi friends
thank you to all my friends that helped me move in to housing and Oakland University campus on Monday
I have been having amazing two days of living on my own and living independently
administration doesn't see me as a students still all my friends and all the faculty sees me as a student
I'm very happy to have housing at Oakland University
here is my address to send me
Micah
404 East Vandenberg Hall
Oakland University
2200 North Squirrel Rd
Rochester, MI 48309-4401

Micah's Move In Day (65 photos), by Emma Fialka-Feldman

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